Epilogue: The Citizen
Part 2: How British Am I?
[Blogger’s Note: I was born and raised in the United States, moved to Canada for love in my early 40s and then relocated again, well into my 50s, to the southern coast of England with my British-born spouse. This has been a series about my sometimes amusing and frequently embarrassing exploits as an expat.]
How British am I? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself now that I’ve reached the end of this blog series on life in the UK from a newcomer’s perspective. After residing in beautiful, occasionally baffling Britain for eight years, I’m clearly no longer a newbie, but every day and in countless different ways I’m reminded of how much more there is to learn about my adopted home. So I’m not quite sure how far along I am on the path to reaching peak Britishness. Getting my citizenship in the summer of 2023 certainly helped, but I worry that obstacles like my flat American accent and near total ignorance of the Two Ronnies’ comedic oeuvre keep holding me back.
Which leaves me in a kind of national identity limbo because my connection to my birthplace grows weaker the longer I’m away. This really hit home during a return trip to the States for Thanksgiving last autumn. [Blogger’s Note Deux: I know, I know, I really should be more timely with these posts. I mean, I published part one of this epilogue nearly a year ago! What can I say? The muse, she is fleeting. Plus, it’s been a bumpy 2024 so far.] After a five year absence, due to the pandemic and the travel hassles it left in its wake, I felt strangely out of place in the US, or at least in the sprawling swath of suburban Georgia where I spent the holiday with family. Everyone I spoke to sounded odd, that is to say, just like me. Not one person trilled “lovely-jubbly” or “toodle pip” in a charmingly sing-song lilt like they do in my little village beside the English Channel. And everything was miles apart. I shelled out $30 for a cab ride from the Atlanta airport to the “convenient” Airport Radisson, where I stayed the first night after my plane got in late. Walking to any destination was out of the question, and even when I accompanied family members in the car to their nearest shopping centre, the drive seemed to take forever. And once we got there, I was reminded of how absurdly huge American parking lots are. In fact, the only substantial walking I did during the entire trip was from far-flung parking spaces to the doors of whatever big box store we were visiting. (I think I see the Target entrance somewhere in the distance…) I’ve become so accustomed to the compactness of our English environs, where we can stroll to dozens of shops and restaurants in less than 10 minutes, that the vast distances between places and the excessive expanse of commercial spaces in the States kind of shocked me.
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It was love at first listen. My devotion to Elvis Costello started when I wandered into a suburban Atlanta record store at the tender age of 16 and heard This Year’s Model blasting out of the sound system. I snapped up that album, Costello’s second, then and there, and returned to buy his equally brilliant debut, My Aim Is True, the next time I got paid. Dutifully, I purchased each successive release for many, many years, and saw him play live on three concert tours. Other than David Bowie, no solo artist takes up more space in my record collection. But as with any lengthy relationship, ours has had its rough patches. I’m lukewarm about Costello’s forays into genres outside his pop-rock wheelhouse, including classical music (The Juliet Letters) and country (Almost Blue). And sometime after 1989’s Spike, which featured his biggest U.S. hit, “Veronica,” the intensity of my ardour began to wane. In the years since, it’s dulled to a pleasant, comfortable-shoe familiarity. These days, I test-drive his latest efforts via streaming before committing to an LP or CD. I’ve never entertained the thought of “breaking up” with him – he’s meant too much to me in the past for that to happen. But the old magic has gone astray. 
It was the afternoon of Prince Harry’s and Meghan Markle’s nuptials and royal wedding-obsessed folks all over Britain, indeed the world, were bunched around TV screens, hankies at the ready, to watch the blessed event. But not me and my partner. We had skipped the live airing to hunt for discounted summer attire in Portsmouth’s scruffy city centre shopping district. (Though of course we caught the two-hour BBC recap later that evening. We’re not monsters.) Well into our leisurely stroll from our flat to the shops, we overheard a cheerful male voice approaching from behind. “Hello, Nan, it’s your favourite grandson!” the voice crooned in that pleasantly sing-song way in which many Brits speak. Being a world-class sleuth, I quickly deduced that he was talking to his grandmother via mobile phone. “What’s that, Nan?” the voice continued. “No, I’m not watching it. Don’t really have any interest. You? Ah, lovely. I’m sure it is a beautiful dress. Well, I was just calling to wish Auntie Gail a happy birthday. Is she around? Lovely! Ta, Nan!” 
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